• Dran Reese
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There is a new book, Love Makes Room – and Other Things I Learned When My Daughter Came Out by Staci Frenes, a Christian singer and speaker. It details the unique rite-of-passage of a strongly Evangelical Christian family dealing with the revelation by their teenage daughter, Abby, regarding her same-sex attraction.

What would your Christian family do in such a situation? How about your church? As they say, it’s complicated. As believers, the process in which this mother’s household engages involves—and reflects—on us all. While we can salute them for seeking answers within their faith, as those upholding biblical standards for sexuality, we cannot agree with their decision that their daughter’s same-sex attraction is not sin and has the approval of God.

In the midst of soul-searching, the author writes she found the prayers of Christian friends, however sincere, to be pretentious. She writes, “I became aware of the false ground and underlying assumptions those seemingly well-intentioned prayers were based on—that Abby was broken or flawed and needed fixing…I didn’t want it to seep into my conversations about or with my daughter.” (Pg 101).

How, then, should we respond when our attempts to pray are rejected? Must it be either full acceptance in order to keep the relationship, or full rejection that cuts off all communication? There is a third option.

For decades, there has been a growing national movement of those who have forsaken homosexuality and transgenderism through the power of Jesus Christ. It is known as the “Ex-Gay,” or the “Once-Gay” Movement.

There is little to indicate such an idea was seriously considered, although it certainly may have been presented and just not reported. However, what help can the average believer provide in explaining this route? Much of the Church—from pulpit to pew—has altogether ignored the issue of homosexuality, finding it uncomfortable, difficult to deal with, and just not wanting “to go there.” Yet, revelations such as these come at great personal sacrifice and merit serious consideration—the entire book is taken up with this family’s spiritual, emotional and relational wrestle.

We can continue to try to stuff the genie back into the bottle, or we can admit that for Christians, we need more understanding—both of what the Bible says, and why it says it. Are boundaries around the topic of sin, including sexual sin, set in Scripture to condemn, or are they to lead to repentance and healing? The Bible says we are not to be defined by our sin-types, but by our identity in Christ as His body, called and sanctified by Him, and created in His image. To this end, God offers real, true transformation that proceeds from the inside-out; it is not simply superficial. If change is possible, isn’t that the better way, and should it not, given current trends, be part of adult discipleship?

Ignorance may be bliss, but it only serves to foster cultural trends rather than putting the brakes on them. Our public schools, mass and social media are all affected, as is legislation and laws pouring out of Sacramento at seemingly breakneck speed. Girls and boys now face indoctrination, K-12, through comprehensive sexuality education mandated in state public schools; “gay” and “trans” have become the new “cool” words; add to that a statewide prohibition of counseling for youth wanting help with unwanted sexual desires.

Christians dealing with these issues in their own families will continue to face lonely paths within the Church unless we turn that around. A church is not just a building; it is a place of healing and hope. We can remain faithful to our biblical standard that homosexuality is sin, and, at the same time, not desert those who find themselves conflicted. We can—and must —learn from those ministries already speaking to this issue:

Yes, this author’s book is completed; but her family’s book of life is not. Because homosexuality is sin, as with all sins, the blood of Jesus covers it. And, through the mercy of God, people change. There are many who can attest to that, who say they are successfully “finding their way out of gay.”

Restored Hope Network: A coalition of ministries serving those who desire to overcome sinful relational and sexual issues in their lives and those impacted by  homosexuality.  Restored Hope works alongside the body of Christ, the Church, and to connect those seeking help with local member ministries and other resources that are available, as well as support, equip and connect the local member ministries.

Changed Movement: All of us who have questioned our sexuality or gender remember our deep search for understanding and resolution. This is true for those in the LGBTQ+ community as it is true of all of us represented here, but our convictions led us in different directions. Some believe they have found peace in identifying as LGBTQ+, but others of us have found fulfillment in a different choice.

PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays):  PFOX is a national non-profit organization committed to helping ex-gays and parents and friends of gays who want help, hope and community. PFOX exists to educate, support, and advocate for individuals and parents on the issue of same-sex attraction, and increase others’ understanding and acceptance of the ex-gay community.

BOOKS (Available through christianbook.com):
Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters, Abigail Shrier, Regnery Publishing, 2020.
When Homosexuality Hits Home: What to Do When a Loved One Says, I’m Gay, Joe Dallas, Harvest House Publishers, 2015
Reclaim, Restore, Rebuild: Hope for Families Impacted by Sexual Brokenness, Carol L. Wagstaff, M.A., Redemption Press, 2018.


In His Image delivers a critical message designed to equip the Church to answer culturally controversial questions about gender and sexuality from a biblical perspective. This feature-length documentary presents much-needed truth with compassion and clarity through powerful personal testimonies, careful Bible teaching, and scientific evidence. Access here: inhisimage.movie


I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26

 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.

Romans 8:1,2
17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 18 Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, 19 that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.

20 Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God. 21 For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

2 Corinthians 5:17-21
Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

First published on The Judeo-Christian Caucus (JCC) website. Reprinted with permission. The JCC is an informational Caucus in California for those who uphold a Judeo-Christian Heritage.   You can sign up to be on the email list here: www.judeochristiancaucus.com/

We encourage churches to have a SALT AND LIGHT BIBLICAL CITIZENSHIP MINISTRY, to equip Christians to be Biblical Citizens

through prayer, education and action.  Learn more here:  www.saltandlightcouncil.org,

or contact the office of Salt and Light Council: (858) 759-7095, admin@saltandlightcouncil.org

Author: Dran Reese
Salt and Light Council

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